By Lupita Peimbert.
(Life) – Has a good friend of yours, or a family member ever asked if you feel lonely because they don’t see you with a steady partner? Do you feel lonely sometimes and attribute it to being single? I bet you the answer is yes. Being single or unmarried is often seen by society as a state of “non-complete,” or “not the normal status,” even though single households are the fasting growing household type since the 80s in the United States, the United Kingdom, and other countries.
In the United States, 107 million people -or 45 percent of the population can attest to this: A well-lived single life can be as satisfying as life in happy couplehood or marriage. Of course, most people yearn to find a soulmate or someone compatible to live happily ever after, but when while that happens, one can have a fulfilling alone. Here are 5 things that some single people I know (myself included) appreciate about Living la Vida Single!
Singles appreciate the ability to make decisions on their own, without having to negotiate, trying to convince, making concessions, or even trying to manipulate the other before reaching agreement. Freedom is felt on very important issues as well as in daily, practical situations, for instance “the freedom to decorate my home as I like without any arguments or having to consider anyone else’s opinion,” says” Jacqueline, a single mother by divorce.
SPONTANEITY & ADVENTURES
If there is one thing that unmarried people can take advantage of is this: to not have to plan anything, let life flow, be spontaneous, be open to changing pace and places, and opening the door to adventures you’d only dreamed of. It also applies to self-development, travel, learning something new or continuing your education.
Nobody controls you emotionally, financially, or in terms of your time. “My favorite part of being single is to make my schedule without the need to confer with anyone else. I can change on the fly, and do as I please as long as I meet my professional and personal responsibilities,” says Brian, a single dad of two.
No more arguments about whatever the two of you disagree about. No more concerns about other people in his/her life that you, be honest, don’t really like. A house that stays clean, music not-so-laud, and not having to deal with emotional baggage except your own. Both your house and your heart can experience silence, literally and figuratively speaking and with that, peace is a natural outcome -and a great place to be.
In the midst of solitude, and without being distracted by roles such as wife, husband, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, you name it, a person ends up having the time and place to find more about oneself: its interests, hobbies, affinities, preferences, and dreams long forgotten. “Sometimes we invest too much in certain love relationships, and we forget to cultivate the most important relationship we can have: a relationship with ourselves,” says Maria Garcia, 2 years in the singlehood camp. “That doesn’t mean I am a hermit; I have other kinds of relationships,” she adds.
As for the Do You Feel Lonely? question, here is something for your consideration: Loneliness is a human emotion and it can happen to anybody, alone or in company. “For me, living without my ex is actually less lonely,” adds Jacqueline. Some say that loneliness is a choice, others think it derives from ignorance about the intrinsic wholeness of a person.
Happy Unmarried and Singles Week!